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An internationally recognized
leader in medicine delivers powerful, practical wisdom to transform
and heal relationships-a life-altering book about what really
matters in living every day.
THE FOUR THINGS THAT MATTER MOST
A Book About
Living
Ira Byock,
M.D.
"This
beautiful book, full of wisdom and warmth, teaches us how to protect
and preserve our most valuable possessions--the relationships with
those we love. It shows that the things that matter definitely
aren’t “things,” and how to empower your life in the right
direction."
-- Dr. Stephen R. Covey, author, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective
People
“The Four
Things that Matter Most is a book of common sense wisdom that has
the power to dynamically change your life. It is a pleasure to
recommend a book that encourages you to transform the quality of
your life in simple ways that actually work."
-- Caroline Myss, author of Sacred Contracts and
Anatomy of the Spirit
We do not need another school shooting, another SARS epidemic, or
another terrorist attack to drive home the fact that life is
precious. Still, many of us wait until the brink of death to
make an effort to renew our relationships with the most important
and intimate people in our lives. Sadly, many of us wait until
it’s too late to clear away past tensions and tell significant
others how much they mean to us, and are left with gnawing doubts
and feelings of regret.
Through more than 25 years of caring
for gravely ill patients and their families, Ira Byock, M.D., has
come to appreciate the wondrous healing and life-transforming power
of four simple phrases. In THE FOUR THINGS THAT MATTER
MOST: A Book About Living (Free Press; March 8, 2004;
$23.00), Dr. Byock reveals how the right, honest, heartfelt words
can soothe festering emotional wounds and resentments, strengthen
connections, and bring lasting peace of mind when spoken not only in
times of dire illness and crisis, but at any time--
and often -- throughout the course of daily life:
Please
forgive me. I forgive you. Thank you. I love you.
“Again and again, I’ve witnessed the value of stating the
obvious,” Dr. Byock attests. “When you love someone, it is
never too early to say ‘I love you,’ or premature to say, ‘Thank
you,’ ‘I forgive you,’ or ‘Will you forgive me?’ When there is
nothing of profound importance left unsaid, relationships tend to
take on an aspect of celebration, as they should.”
With an emphasis on making all cherished relationships—with
aging parents, grown and young children, a spouse or partner,
relatives near and far, and close friends—current and
complete, THE FOUR THINGS THAT MATTER MOST illuminates
the pragmatic healing potential of universal, everyday words.
Through compelling real-life stories, culled from counselors who
have embraced the “Four Things” in their practices as well as his
own work with the terminally ill, Dr. Byock shows how to use
expressions of forgiveness, gratitude, and affection as tools to
repair the rifts that divide us and restore a sense of kinship,
community, and humanity, while affirming our individual worth.
Among the deeply affecting, personal examples that will inspire:
-
Parents who took the time and spoke the
words to make certain that their son knew how thoroughly they
loved him before he left to fight for America in Iraq
-
An elderly couple who rediscovered the
bliss of their early love for one another after one spouse,
long-ago betrayed but still bitter, dared to say “I love you”
-
An anxious teenage girl’s first and
last meeting with the father she had never known—who asked for
and received her forgiveness and tenderness hours before he died
of AIDS
-
A father who suddenly decided to make
amends with the grown children he had routinely neglected—and was
rewarded with enduring bonds of warmth, respect, and friendship
Dr. Byock culminates with a thoughtful discussion of
saying “good-bye” in the way the words were originally intended:
as a blessing. Whether expecting to be separated for a
few hours or forever, a conscious, attentive, genuine good-bye can
be a treasured parting gift to others.
Rich in practical wisdom for interpersonal healing, THE
FOUR THINGS THAT MATTER MOST offers hope for living fully with a
sense of inner security even in the most uncertain, unsettling, and
tragic times.
About the Author
IRA BYOCK, M.D., is a nationally
respected authority on end-of-life care and a longtime advocate on
behalf of the chronically ill and their families. His essays
have appeared in the Washington Post and Wall Street
Journal and his work has been featured on Nightline,
Dateline NBC, All Things Considered, and HBO’s
Letting Go: A Hospice Journey, as well as in the New York
Times Magazine. Past president of the American Academy of
Hospice and Palliative Medicine, he is currently Director of
Palliative Medicine at Dartmouth Hitchcock Medical Center and on the
faculty of Dartmouth Medical School. Also the author of
Dying Well (Riverhead Books, 1998), he welcomes visitors to his
web site,
www.dyingwell.com.
THE FOUR
THINGS THAT MATTER MOST
A Book About Living
By Ira Byock, M.D.
Publication Date: March 8, 2004
Price: $23.00 hardcover
Pages: 240
ISBN: 0-7432-4909-7
Published by Free Press
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